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♫ Why are you walking? ♫

Recently, I saw this woman wearing a sweatshirt that read, “Weekends are for coffee and naps.”

I guess to be fair it was at a coffee shop. Regardless, this is a sentiment I’ve never really shared,

and maybe never really understood. Some friends recently pointed out that you get about 4,000

weeks in your life, which means about 4,000 weekends. Spending them napping has little

appeal. Why waste time sleeping? We can nap later, when we take our dirt nap, as Norm

Macdonald was fond of calling it.

Perhaps this is why I frequently sing, yes sing, “Why are you walking?” at F3 workouts. I am

not quite sure where it started. Maybe when I was an assistant wrestling coach and took the

wrestlers on pre-season runs.

In any event, our workouts are short, 45 minutes. You got your rear end out of that fartsack, you

dragged that rear end out here in the gloom to make yourself better. And now you’re gonna

walk? Make it worth your while. Here in North Central Ohio, it’s cold. It’s dark. It sucks. If

you’re gonna breeze through a beatdown, why not just stay in bed?

The most important reason I sing my little song, believe it or not, is to encourage others. I know

it can be annoying, but you can focus on the annoying song rather than the labor of moving your

feet. You can mosey out of spite. To prove the troublesome troubadour wrong.

But the truth is, I want you to win.

Too many guys come out and say, “I can’t do a pull-up,” or “I can’t do a forward roll,” or “I

can’t run a mile,” or “there is no way I can make it through an entire workout without stopping.”

Yes, you can. You’re so much tougher than you think you are.

If you can keep moseying—even nothing faster than a shuffle, it’s a psychological victory. You

don’t have to run fast, or even mosey fast, just mosey. Keep your arms pumping, your legs

shuffling. Your pace doesn’t have to surpass walking. You just have to look like you’re

moseying. Fake it and make it. If you can keep “mosey-ing” you win. You did it. You didn’t

quit. You made it through an entire workout. And you build on the wins. We all need wins,

every single one of us.

One of the guys who has become the most devoted to our little group, he splashed merlot at

every post for maybe the first month—maybe the first couple of months. It was an enormous

mental victory the first time he didn’t splash Merlot. It was another mental victory when he was

able to complete an entire workout, but with modifications. Then finishing one without a


Remember, we’re only here for a little while. Why would you walk?

It’s an attitude I try to carry over to life. Why not focus on the important things, and do them

with all your heart. If it’s not worth doing, don’t do it at all. If it’s worth doing, don’t’ walk,


All we are is dirt. And to dirt we shall return. So why not enjoy the work? Why not say you ran

a good race? Don’t go easy into that good gloom.

A final question: ♫Why are you walking? ♫

Some Scripture to consider.

Ecclesiastes 3:19-22

19  For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity. 20  All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again. 21  Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth? 22  Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice in his own works; for that is his portion: for who shall bring him to see what shall be after him?

2 Timothy 4:7

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a

way that you may obtain it.  25  And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown.  26  Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air.  27  But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.


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